There is a misnomer in modern childbirth. It is that childbirth should be painless. Women today are being raised to believe that a painless birth is a good birth.

The word pain has negative connotations. The very definition by the International Association for the Study of pain is "an unpleasant sensory and emotional experience associated with actual or potential tissue damage, or described in terms of such damage." This definition invokes fear, it does not embody a belief that pain can be worked with, that a laboring mother can move through it, and embrace it.

Giving birth is a biological function, an event that women bodies have been designed for. Quite simply, if our bodies were unable to give birth naturally, then we would not exist as a species. For generation after generations, hundreds and thousands of years our Grandmother’s have given birth as nature intended. Our Grandmothers had other women with them to guide them, teach them and support them on their birthing journey.

These guides showed our Grandmother’s what birth is really like. It taught them that an ideal birth experience, a natural birth, doesn’t mean that it will not hurt. They knew that birth is both simultaneously blissful and painful. When you listen to your body and move when it tells you to, when you trust in the process and surround yourself with support during this blessed event you can surrender to the process and birth with intention and without fear.

It is my experience that it is this ‘fear of pain’ that hinders the mother in birth. Through my years of experience as a Childbirth Educator, Birth Doula and Birth Assistant I have found that there are 3 sources of pain in labor.

Emotional pain is the fear of the unknown directly due to a lack of education. Fear is primitive. Muscles tense releasing natural painkillers in to the body. However when this happens we lose our ability to reason and our senses become profoundly altered. Our emotions become all inclusive and monopolize all our functions.

Survival is hardwired. For first time mother, understanding that surrendering into the contractions actually makes them easier to work with is counter intuitive. By witnessing birth and through education a mother can understand the birthing process better and the emotions that go with it. The more a mother prepares for her birth her feelings of control increase and her fear of the unknown drops.

In labor do not be afraid to ask the mother” What is your biggest fear right now?” Many maternal labor fears may seem irrational to you (the partner) but are very real to her. Some women will even joke in labor about their fears. Take a few minutes and address her fear, as needed.

Physiological pain is directly due to the contractions, the decent of the baby, the position the mother is in and the procedures she is exposed to. Your goal is to keep the mother as relaxed as possible and avoid unnecessary interventions. Here are some tips for birth partners:

• Encourage her to breathe diaphragmatically, getting the most oxygen to her muscles and her baby.
• Consider changing her position every 30 minutes or so unless she is relaxed or sleeping.
• Upright positions can work with gravity and the contractions are typically closer together but shorter in duration. By using gravity you can also help to align the baby.
• Prone potions encourage longer contractions that are further apart and close mom’s pelvis.
• Clenching of the hands and feet or grasping on to the coach pulls the baby up and out of alignment. The mother needs to be kept relaxed’ like a wet noodle’ in order to surrender to the process.
• Hydration is critical to prevent dehydration and a dysfunctional labor pattern. Therefore, voiding hourly also helps to makes space for the baby to descend and makes contractions less intense.

Remember all women want pain relief with contractions. The coach’s job is to assist mom through both the pleasures and pressures of birth, not to ‘fix’ the labor or birthing experience.

Functional pain is additional pressure with or without contractions due to derivations from a misaligned mother or baby. Most misalignments can be avoided or corrected in pregnancy with proper care.